4 KEYS TO STRONG MALE FRIENDSHIPS

Humans were designed to live life in relationship with others. It’s intrinsic within us. 

We need community, we need interaction. We crave the encouragement, accountability and support that comes with strong relationships- especially meaningful friendships with other men.

Unfortunately, we live in an age of isolation. Growth in technology has our heads down, looking at our phone, and earbuds in. Culture has communicated that success, money and power comes from rugged individualism. We celebrate one’s ability to stand alone.

We’re so averse to revealing that we need other people that we had to create the silly word “bromance” to describe this insane idea of actually being friends with other men. We’re scared of being called weak, or needy or clingy when we desire that companionship and camaraderie.

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THE PSYCHOLOGICAL NECESSITY OF BREAKING THE RULES [GUEST POST]

“We see you as an artist,” he said. His hair was long, thick, and wavy. His face thin and defined. His gaze intense and gentle.

Sixteen of us sat around a big solid wooden table, eating a meal together. We were all part of an Artist Residency at the graduate school I attended.

Somehow I ended up among them.

I didn’t think of myself as an artist. Though I studied music composition in undergrad, I always felt a bit like I was faking it— everyone else had a much greater mastery of their instruments and musical concepts.

I thought my main focus for the week of the Artist Residency was going to be writing music. It turns out it was something much deeper.

His words to me around that table were part of shift in how I thought of myself. It may seem small from the outside, but on the inside it was big. And risky.

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WHY "BROMANCES" ARE STUPID AND WHAT REAL FRIENDSHIPS ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE

You've seen it.

The reality shows where bros get hammered drunk together, head to the beach to pick up girls, and celebrate their "bromance".

"YEAH BRO, LOOK AT THOSE TWO DUDES...THEY'VE GOT A BROMANCE GOING ON OVER THERE, HAHAHAHAHA!"

If you're like me, all of that makes you wanna vomit in your mouth a little. 

To be clear, it's not just the word itself that I can't stand. I get it, I might need to chill out, and relax because it's just a funny, jokey saying that guys use sometimes. But the truth is, words matter. And the meaning we associate with words also matters.

And that's the issue: I'm can't stand what the word "bromance" stands for.
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THE SECRET TO BEING SUCCESSFUL AT ANYTHING IN LIFE

THIS POST: How to be successful at anything in life

I'm usually an action-step kind of guy. A make-lists-and-have-concrete-objectives type of guy.

But not today.

Because some days, I think it's prudent to simply motivate. And today is that day, because sometimes we all need a reminder of where we're going and what got us moving in the first place.

So, as promised in the title of this post, I want to provide you all with the secret to being successful at anything. The one, overarching principle that applies to winning at anything in life.

I'll give you the secret now. Are you ready? It's two simple words.

KEEP. GOING.

That's it. Don't quit, don't slow down, don't falter.

Just keep going.

And maybe you fail. Of course, that's always a possibility. But failure is rarely the reason people don't accomplish what they'd hoped- it is more often an unwillingness to persevere.

Too many people, wheezing and out of breath from life's marathons, decide to step off the path before they even get the chance to see the finish line in the distance. When it gets hard, they decide they must've taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way, so they abandon what was once so important to them.

Come to grips with this fact: 

Just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's wrong. Very often, the hard thing is the right thing. 

I know you're tired, frustrated and discouraged. You've been working at it for years.

But who knows?

Tomorrow might just be the day it all falls into place.